The Happytime Murders (2018)

The Happytime Murders should have been the "stuff" of legends. Wacka wacka! But in all fairness, a lowdown and dirty puppet movie by the heir to the Henson throne is something that could have been hilarious, shocking and infectiously inventive. Sure, this concept is certainly not uncharted waters. Peter Jackson, during his early B-Movie years, made a nasty film called "Meet the Feebles" which was essentially The Muppet Movie dumped into a colostomy bag. In the early 2000's, Sesame Street got the midnight treatment on Broadway with Avenue Q, which explored such adult themes through the majesty of jolly PBS variety jingles. There is even, if you can believe it, a 1970's pornographic film called "Let My Puppets Come" where humans and puppets get it on. Don't ever search it out. Curiosity or otherwise, just don't do it. So what can The Happytime Murder's offer? Perhaps a raucous parody of Muppet lore, spanning from Kermit to Big Bird, and sending up the entire fascinating and even dark world of puppeteering? My kingdom for a film that smart. Unfortunately, Happytime is less like Roger Rabbit and more like Cool World.

This movie is brought to you by the letter L. A big L for lazy. Wit is seemingly replaced with endless genitalia humor, and not even the good variety. The murder-mystery of the film goes nowhere and nowhere fast either, as you're left stunned by the sluggish exposition of it's characters. Melissa McCarthy is cast in what is largely a thankless role that could have been played by anyone. Replace her with Seth Rogen and the film would have been no different. She shares only a share of screen time with a Ray Liotta-esque detective puppet named Phil Phillips, who from time to time cracked me a big smile as a gritty veteran cop juxtaposed with a cute and cuddly blue Muppet. There seems to be a world where humans and puppets co-exist, and suffer racial strife (ala Roger Rabit) which is hinted at in the beginning but never materializes into a real underlying message for the story. Perhaps it would have been too obvious and cliched, but don't start something you can't finish. I was sort of bothered by the fact that they all walked on two legs, like humans. Wouldn't it have been much funnier to have them seen from the waist up? Addressing the fact that a human is controlling them from below, never to break free? Historical allegories abound? I know, too smart. The stars of Happytime Gang gets whacked one by one, but the problem is, we never get to see the transition between lovable Puppet celebrities and the drug-infused, Hollywood style downward spiral that led to their demise. The possibilities for that? Well, it almost kills me to know how much could have been done there and wasn't.

I loved looking at these puppets and the amount of heart that went into the designs of all of them. Little shreds of comedic genius kept me watching. There is an amazing film that is begging to climb out of here. But only half of it exists. It's time to face the music, time to turn off the lights, because the Happytime Murders never gets things started.