BAD REVIEW: Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)

I'm not going to mince words. Velvet Buzzsaw is garbage. Garbage, being the last thing I'd expect to come from Dan Gilroy, the writer and director of Nightcrawler. Nightcrawler was an intimate, frightening and astounding first feature from Gilroy. Those who have seen it won't forget seeing life through the POV of a scummy independent journalist who preys on death and tragedy for a promotion. It told a gruesome story that interweaves with a larger message of the mainstream media's capital on violent crime. This time, he gives us a murder-mystery within the pretentious LA art scene. Sardonic enough to work. You'd have every right to feel excited as you begin watching it. 40 minutes in, and I'm just bored to tears. I'm aggravated. The characters are drab, dull caricatures of current and has-been modern artists. We're supposed to find it funny that these people are empty vessels who spew out big words to critique the art they look at and themselves. Artists aren't all like this. Some are wild, some are creepy, some are annoying and yes, some aren't much fun to be around at all. Give us some satire to work with. The supernatural twist of the film is cockeyed at best. I appreciate trying to work a film around the message of the loss of meaning in art and the rise of commercialized artists. There's a story to be had there. This isn't the one.